Current:Home > MyPoinbank Exchange|She's a Democrat. He's a Republican. Can love conquer all? -NextFrontier Finance
Poinbank Exchange|She's a Democrat. He's a Republican. Can love conquer all?
Johnathan Walker View
Date:2025-04-08 13:28:46
He was a boy. She was a girl. Can we make it any more obvious?Poinbank Exchange
We're talking about Samantha and Andy Miller, a couple of St. Louis natives who caught each other's attention at a casino toward the end of 2009.
"It was just one of those things where we met and it was instant, and we were inseparable ever since," Samantha, 37, tells me. He proposed two years later, they got married and welcomed two kids, a now 7-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son.
Perfect. Except for one thing: She's a Democrat. He's a Republican.
"It didn't seem to be that big of a deal until 2016," she says, referencing the bitter battle between former President Donald Trump and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. When Samantha recently posted a video about the political differences between them, it quickly went viral. Thousands told her to get a divorce and that her husband is the devil. (She has since made her account private.)
"That's not fair, because he's amazing," she says, an "awesome human being. I love him, but it's been hard to navigate it."
Marriages across political lines are common enough, sure. But the 2016 election ignited a fire of political divisiveness that no one has figured out how to extinguish. The Millers, however, seem to make their marriage work anyway − most of the time.
Why? As cliché as it sounds, they've found that their love for each other and their family outweighs political tension, though many don't understand how that's possible.
"If it weren't for him believing in me I wouldn't be the person I am today," Samantha says. Andy, 40, adds, "You're a team, and the only way to be successful as a team is to work together."
'There's crazy rhetoric that's going around'
The pair didn't think much of their political differences when they met. They believed what their families believed.
"I was just a young girl in her 20s without a care in the world," Samantha says. "At that moment, I knew what I leaned towards, but I never dug hard into different policies."
That's changed as issues have bubbled to the surface, and particularly when Trump ran for president. "It's hard for me to look at someone like Trump and respect them and want them to be the face of the country, let alone look at all the people that I do love that are applauding him," Samantha says.
Andy, an Air Force veteran who served in Iraq, has always voted on policy that affects – in his view – how he can take care of his family and himself.
"I can't really control anything else that happens outside of that bubble or that circle," he says. Perhaps that's where they differ most: "He's definitely more worried about money in his pocket, and his family, where I'm more worried about the world," Samantha says.
This divisiveness has brought out the worst in some. As Andy puts it: "If you don't align with a certain person's views, there's crazy rhetoric that's going around where it labels people as like, 'oh, you're a dangerous person because you don't believe in the same thing I believe in,' or 'you want my rights taken away' with people that you never even have even met or talked with."
In case you missed:Trump's appearance, that speech and the problem with speculating about a public figure's health
'We have set boundaries now'
As opposite as their voting patterns have been, they see eye-to-eye on more than you might imagine. Andy isn't completely against abortion, for example.
"That has been an argument, because, yes, he does support it, but he chooses to vote differently, so that does cause a fight," Samantha says. The pair went through IVF for their second child.
What causes most of their strife is the bashing of the other's party. If he likes something on Facebook that calls Democrats stupid, for example, she points out he's married to one.
"We have set boundaries now," she says. "We don't outwardly post anything political, or anything like that."
Both claim to be open-minded. "I'm not hardcore right, I'm not hardcore left, I'm kind of in the middle," Andy says, "and could be swayed if policy fit what I was looking for." It just hasn't happened yet.
Did you see?Kamala Harris, Megyn Kelly and why the sexist attacks are so dangerous
'Don't want to change who he is'
How has their 15-year relationship sustained all the heavy political headwinds? Talking it out, and appreciating one another.
"We're very good at communication," she says. "We've always been able to sit down with each other and really communicate our point." Plus, "we are 100% equal partners" and "he truly loves spending time with his kids."
"We try to make sure that we put most of our attention and our focus into making sure that they have a great childhood," Andy says.
Samantha says he is one of the hardest working people she's ever met, and most loyal. Funny, handsome, a great father. Their personalities mesh well.
"I'm definitely outgoing, and he's quiet and reserved, and we definitely balance each other in that way," she says.
They're not perfect, of course, hence why she blew off some steam in that TikTok. But she was shocked after her video went viral and how many people said it resonated. "I've had talks with quite a few people, and all of us said the same thing to each other, like, you can message me if you need someone to talk to," she says. Maybe they could go to an island every four years until the election ends, some joked.
Still, she loves that her kids will be raised with divergent views, and neither plan to push any agenda on them.
"I also don't want to change who he is," she adds. "I will always love him and respect him, but I also, I think that's the issue in America right now, is people are so unaccepting of anybody with different views."
veryGood! (4)
Related
- Trump issues order to ban transgender troops from serving openly in the military
- Wisconsin Legislature set to reject governor’s special session on child care, worker shortages
- Who was Hardeep Singh Nijjar, the Sikh activist whose killing has divided Canada and India?
- Former Indiana congressman sentenced to 22 months in prison for insider trading convictions
- Tom Holland's New Venture Revealed
- Consumers can now claim part of a $245 million Fortnite refund, FTC says. Here's how to file a claim.
- Fed-up consumers are increasingly going after food companies for misleading claims
- Bachelor Star Clayton Echard Served With Paternity Lawsuit From Alleged Pregnant Ex
- The company planning a successor to Concorde makes its first supersonic test
- After unintended 12-year pause, South Carolina says it has secured drug to resume lethal injections
Ranking
- B.A. Parker is learning the banjo
- West Point sued over using race as an admissions factor in the wake of landmark Supreme Court ruling
- Former Indiana congressman sentenced to 22 months in prison for insider trading convictions
- Colombian leader summons intense oratory for a bleak warning: that humanity is making itself extinct
- Average rate on 30
- An artist took $84,000 in cash from a museum and handed in blank canvases titled Take the Money and Run. He's been ordered to return some of it
- House Oversight Committee to hold first hearing of impeachment inquiry into President Biden on Sept. 28
- Ukraine’s allies make legal arguments at top UN court in support of Kyiv’s case against Russia
Recommendation
Working Well: When holidays present rude customers, taking breaks and the high road preserve peace
Apple's iOS 17 is changing the way you check your voicemail. Here's how it works.
Prosecutor begins to review whether Minnesota trooper’s shooting of Black man was justified
Wisconsin Legislature set to reject governor’s special session on child care, worker shortages
The Louvre will be renovated and the 'Mona Lisa' will have her own room
16 states underfunded historically Black land-grant universities, Biden administration says
Clorox products may be in short supply following cyberattack, company warns
UNGA Briefing: Security Council, climate summit and what else is going on at the United Nations